Confidence issues: Nudist men’s edition.
While this target’s men, ladies there is a lot to learn from this so please take a look and answer the questions at the end.
A few weeks back I was doing a scroll through Twitter when I ran across this post made my Kevin from Our Naturist Life.
I enjoy Kevin and his wife Corin’s page because they post good wholesome nudist life pictures and he brought up a great issue when it comes to men and their confidence issues in the nudist life.
Many people who have doubts about becoming a nudist will say things like “well yeah but you are a guy” or “well I don’t have a large penis so people will judge me”, “it is embarrassing”…the list goes on.
Also, in my humble experience, women are more open about their confidence issues, or having “imperfections”.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, has imperfection and confidence issues in some part of their life. Some hide it better than others, but don’t worry, it is there.
I reached out to Kevin to ask him if I could share his story. I think his vulnerability, openness and end results serves as a great example for all the men who are struggling with body images issues.
While I don’t have permission to post his picture you get one of us 🙂 However, if I get it I will add a face to his story.
Here is Kevin’s story:
“I decided to share my story about genital fears when becoming a naturist. Most men who are not gifted as a “show’r” and are instead a “grow’r” think about it. It has been ingrained is us throughout our life. The reality is, as we age, things shrink. We also put on some extra weight and things don’t look the same as when we were younger.
For me, I also was diagnosed in 2013 with a skull based tumor. The tumor crushed my pituitary gland which meant I could no longer make testosterone among all the others. I replace my testosterone now, but long term usage also caused my testicles to shrink and atrophy.
This was tough to deal with.
It was probably my biggest fear becoming a naturist is that I would not measure up to what we see in social media. The first time I was nude in public, I was so nervous. I had to check out what everyone else’s was like, just to see if I measured up.
I went through the same thing again when we joined our local naturist park. The truth is, it still bothers me a bit.
But I learned no one else cared. Even if they noticed, they could not care less what my genitals looked like.
They wanted to get to know me, as a person. Not as body parts.
It made me feel good to not be judged by something I personally was concerned with about myself.
I have not looked back and it gave me confidence to be myself.”
Kevin, Our Naturist Life
Valuable Lesson’s
The cool thing about nudist is that they will look at you naked and will have internal thoughts of some measure…some more internal thoughts that others lol.
But unless you are a at a lifestyle friendly (swinger) nudist resort, almost every nudist you will meet wants to get to know you for who you are.
This goes for nudist resorts and nudist events/groups because clothing optional beaches are another animal and while people go there and get naked, the atmosphere isn’t like resorts and groups. Many people go there to gawk and stare at naked bodies. This is why you see a completely different set of pictures on the internet between beaches and resorts/gatherings.
I think there is a valuable lesson in Kevin’s story and it all boils down to this simple sentence: “they wanted to get to know me, as a person. Not as body parts”.
While this blog was directed at men’s confidence issues, ladies I hope you took something way from this as well.
The overwhelming majority of nudist will talk to you in the nude and get to know you, laugh and have a great time no matter your color, religion, race, sexual identity or anything else.
If you are a a-hole, snob, overbearing, or there to hit on people and get your rocks off…well, it is your attitude and demeanor, not your body that no one wants to hang out with you.
Diggin Deep:
You can’t change confidence issues overnight, not even with surgery. Most of the confidence issues you face are deep rooted in your psychological make up, and further reinforced by the media, social media and ignorant people; ultimately, trying to paint a imagine of the “perfect” person.
Newsflash: THERE IS NO PERFECT PERSON OR BODY…EVERRRRRRRRR.
With that said, ladies and gentlemen, what is the main point you took away from Kevin’s story and how can you apply it to your own life?
2 tasks for you:
1. I want you to identify what areas of your life are holding you back from trying out the nudist life (at home or in a social environment), or if you are a practicing nudist, what areas/thoughts are holding you back from truly enjoying it all the way. Write them down.
2. What baby steps can you take to overcome them, again write them down.
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In your corner,
Ryan
Your every day nudist from Eastern Washington
If you have a few minutes and need further ways to build your confidence, take a look at these previous blog posts I have written just for you.
“It has been ingrained i[n] us throughout our life.”
Thank you! The #1 definition of “ingrained” from Wordnik.com is “Firmly established, as by long conditioning; deep-seated.” We had no role in either the establishing or the conditioning. There was never any “interactivity”, as we called it in grad school. So why do 90+% of articles on ‘body image’ take it as a given that we cooked up ourselves?
There are exceptions, but almost all discussion of ‘body image’ denies the reality that there are people walking the planet who have noticeable orthopaedic differences that have been medically dx’d and do not have a psychological component.
I swear the reality denial regarding my body’s peculiarities did far more psychological damage than the peculiarities themselves.
This summer will be my 10th anniversary as a nudist. I’m sure I’ve had a few negative reactions to my body over the past 10 years, but none come to mind. And certainly the total is less than 1% of what I get at a textile beach.
I left my concerns about how people respond to my body in the garbage shortly after becoming a nudist. I find myself in the weird (to me) position that actual comments about my body differences don’t trigger me in the least. But suggest
that my body differences are subjective on my part? MAJOR TRIGGER!!!
My point is that I can’t help but wonder how many people are ‘stuck’ in getting over their problems or are held back in some way because they keep/kept getting the utterly false message that their issues do/did not exist outside their minds.
I’ll give a more thoughtful and on-point comment later, but I just had to thank you and Kevin for not pretending the objective is subjective.