We are 10 days into 2023 and many people have already “failed” at their New Year’s resolutions.
If that is you…that is okay. According to Forbes, 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail. Don’t beat yourself up and think this year is going to a long drawn-out failure of a year.
In that article Forbes outlines the top 3 reasons resolutions fail:
1. It’s your consciousness that needs to change before your behavior can change.
2. You don’t have an accountability structure to help you sustain change.
3. You are actually scared of, and completely resistant to, achieving this big goal and you won’t let yourself.
Change is not only hard, but it is painful. Like, literally painful.
I read in a book one time that we have somewhere to the tune of 10,000+ thoughts a day. In those thoughts, around 80+% are the same repeating thoughts from the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that.
Therefore, in order to change your actions you must change your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, your brain forms a new synapse. In the nervous system, a synapse is a structure that permits a neuron (or nerve cell) to pass an electrical or chemical signal to another neuron or to the target effector cell.
Everyday you are making millions of new synapse, however, if you don’t use them they will go away. Therefore, it is vital to continue the same new thought and action in order to strengthen the synapse.
The painful part is the brain growth which is fighting against the same repetitive thoughts and actions that have made you comfortable.
This leads back to number 1: your conscious and thoughts need to change before your behavior will follow suite, or at least for any length of time. The mind controls the body, therefore, you must control your mind and your thoughts before anything else will change.
This leads to number 3, in that most of us are actually subconsciously scared of winning.
I know your immediate thought is “no way in hell I am scared of winning” but I want you to sit back and really spend sometime thinking of the last 4 or 5 times you set a goal that you didn’t reach. I would bet if you are anything like me, somewhere during the planning process, doubt crept into your thoughts.
It is normal for 99% of us to have doubt and fear; however, if you pay attention to it and catch it early in the self conversation, you can help to change the narrative. Also, you can watch for it WHEN it silently creeps in and starts to provide just enough negative thoughts for you to stop what you are doing.
I have written plenty of blogs about fear and thoughts when it comes to nudism and your brain trying to talk you out of trying it. You can see those here.
3. Stop Asking Permission: Live Life on Your Terms
Bottom-Line:
If you want to make your New Years resolution (or any resolution/goal) stick, you must control your mind and the thoughts that come with it. Catch it early and then modify the narrative from negative to positive. I know sounds easy; however, it isn’t. You are fighting against decades of repetitive thoughts, and actions that have made you comfortable in where you are.
But, I have no doubt that you can do it. I have no doubt that you WILL succeed in whatever you put your mind to. In the great words of Jim Valvono, “don’t ever give up, don’t ever give up”.
This is your year to make things happen. Your year to be you in a way that you want to be and not the way society says you should be. There is only one thing left to do, and that is go do it and crush your resolutions!
BE YOU.
You got this and know that I am in your corner.
Ryan
With the resolutions… not only might you be fighting your own negative thoughts/actions, you might be fighting against ideas other people put into your head, very possibly without your permission. that’s just one more reason to turn them into a positive.
I think number 3, Stop Asking Permission is a blog that is worth reading and re-reading. I go back to it often, myself. I would add one thing about fear of doing/changing….. It could be more than just fear. There may have been outside, external consequences if you’d shaken your fear and gone ahead before. Go back and revisit. Are those consequences still there? If so, do they matter now the way they did back then? Just because offending Joe Schmo ten years ago could’ve cost you your job doesn’t mean it’d cost you your job today.
My second big takeaway from #3 is… Yup, many people are truly unhappy with their lives. Don’t be surprised if they get angry at you if you start living life for yourself instead of blindly following whatever they blindly followed.