Opinions
I was on Facebook and saw a posting about Harrison Ford and his views on opinions. While it is on Facebook and I didn’t spend a lot of time trying to research if it is 100% accurate, I agree whole heartily on the context of the thought.
Harrison Ford said:
They will criticize you for what you are, for what you are not, and for what they think you are.
They will judge you for what you do, for what you don’t do, and for what you fail to do. They will talk about you for what you say and for what you keep silent about.
They will point at you for your successes and for your mistakes, for your decisions and for your doubts. No matter how much you try to please, there will always be opinions.
So, live for yourself, because in the end, the only thing that matters is being true to your own path.
I think the most powerful statement is the very last sentence and I will repeat it to help make it stick “So, live for yourself, because in the end, the only thing that matters is being true to your own path.”
Recurring Theme of my Blogs
If you have read any of my blogs you will see a recurring theme in them…forget what people think and live life on your terms. In 1940 Bernard Baruch said “be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”. Here are a few previous blogs, take a quick read: Stop Seeking Approval, Stop Asking Permission, Find Yourself in a World that Just Wants you to Fit In.
Think about that in your life. Have you ever noticed that in all facets of your life, those that truly support you and your success and wellbeing don’t mind what you do and will support you and be there for you. And, on the other hand, those that do mind (and have an opinion that puts you down or talks shit) don’t really matter as they don’t show up when you need them or when things go south.
For over 8 years I had untreated major depression and alcoholism, and while it sucked being in it there is one good thing that came out of it: my ability to truly not care what others think of me.
My Personal Joy and Happiness
They are not in control of my life, my happiness and my joy. Their opinions of what I should and shouldn’t do are just that opinions. They don’t get a say in what I do, or how I do it.
Hell, I have found everyone (myself included) give sound advice on what people “should do” because we don’t have to do it. It is easy to tell someone “well I would do this”, but we don’t have to do it, and if we did have to, we don’t because it is different.
Look, we may all be in the same storm but we aren’t in the same boat. My boat is different from your boat. But here is what I can tell you, stop allowing people to rob you of things you want to do, because you are concerned that they won’t like you, or won’t agree with you and your choices.
There will ALWAYS be people that are telling you that you are doing something wrong, or that they don’t agree with you. But think about this, if you do it their way guess what? You are going to be doing it wrong to someone else. It is a never-ending cycle of “who is correct” and “who do I need to make happy”.
Our Terms
For example, I am bi and my wife and I live alternative lifestyles on occasion. Hell, lately we have talked about starting an Onlyfans or Fansly page to have fun and express that side of our lives. Well guess what, thousands in the nudist community would say “well you aren’t nudist then”. My simple response, “go f*ck yourself o’ perfect one, we live how WE live and you don’t get a say in that”. We do what we do to bring ourselves joy and happiness and no one gets to run that aspect (or any aspect for that matter) in our lives. P.S. if you are interested in knowing if/when we do, let me know so I can let you know 😉
The answer to the latter is: YOU. You need to make YOU happy. You need to do what YOU want to do and how YOU want to do it.
Bottom-line is we aren’t promised tomorrow. Hell, we aren’t even promised the end of today. So please, please, please do what makes YOU happy and joyful.
O’ and if you are on Twitter, or X, make sure to give me a follow!
In your corner,
Ryan
Looking to support a fellow nudist in other ways, check out my various Etsy pages and feel free to share them with a friend(s)!
First off, criticizing people for having an OnlyFans page is comically hypocritical. You will never convince me that 90+% of guys would not do it if they had the resources and wouldn’t get caught by whomever they’re concerned about.
Thank you for the reminder that there’s no point in trying to please others. There’ll always be something ‘wrong’ with whatever you say or do. The goalposts will never stop moving. And if you try to explain your problem, 99% of the time the person you’re explaining it to will interrupt you and try to correct you even though they know only what you’ve told them. I’m beginning to think people like this simply want to pontificate. We’re all better off ignoring them completely.
Oh, and many of them are very skilled at inducing guilt trips. Ignore them and live for yourself. The deprogramming is hard work, but it’s worth it.
Yeah I agree with you 100% and most of the time we only tell people about 1% or less of our lives (and them in return) so they are going to judge and either agree or disagree. Either way, it has no baring on my life and my decisions because I have to live with them…and no one is in charge of my happiness but me!
Thanks for the comments and reading it!
After your blog today, I decided that I must comment. I have refrained from commenting before because I disapproved of some of your language, but what you had to say today was so true that I agree so much. Yes, many in the social nudust community would definitely criticize you because you don’t strongly deny that we nudists have sexual thoughts when being around naked people. I absolutely don’t feel that way. I absolutely LOVE to see other naked people! Sexuality can be more than actual sexual relations with others, it can be just the enjoyment of seeing others naked. And, NO, I find the story about only looking people in the eyes and not looking at their genitals TOTALLY DISINGENUOUS!!! I would be in agony if I had to do that!!! I, too, am bisexual, so I very much enjoy seeing the pictures on your blog, both the ones of you, and the ones that include your wife. There is so much of an anti-nude attitude in society nowadays that the social nudism community feels that they MUST downplay any hint of sexual reasons that they enjoy being around other naked people. They are TRYING to protect their wonderful ability. I believe very much that society’s mental health would be much, much better if open and public nudity was the norm!
Gerald thanks for jumping in and commenting I appreciate it! My language is who and how I am and I know 100% of the time when I drop that language in it can be offensive to others, however, this blog is my outlet and it is designed for me to be exactly who I am and how I think and not something that is a fictious way of being.
I 100% agree with you that people look at everything and everyone. Heck, my wife and I talk about people when we leave as far as how was cool to chat with and look at 🙂 I am glad you enjoy the pictures and I agree with the premise that the nudist community is non-sexual in nature, that is what makes it natural, but to try to shame people into thinking that if they look at someone sexually, or do sexual things (outside of a nudist setting) they aren’t real nudist always rubs me the wrong way.
Thanks for chiming in and being open I appreciate you!
Ryan
I’m new to the nudist community, and I also find it strange how sex-repulsed a lot of nudist seem to be. I find it kinda gatekeeper-ish, like “you’re not REALLY a nudist, like us” sort of way. So I appreciate your openness with your sexuality.
And yes, I would be interested, haha.
Thanks for reading and the comment and welcome to the nudist community!
While I agree with them being the gatekeeper when it comes to nudist events, as that is what keeps the community safe and allows us to not have to witness such acts when we don’t want to, it is the issue with them doing it in life that can rub me the wrong way. That is why if we do a OF page it will be under a different name so we can separate that part of lives, if that makes sense.
I totally agree. I could have phrased my comment better, because I do think the separation is important in many contexts. Time and place for everything, yeah? It’s the part about shaming people who happen to enjoy both, in just their own personal lives, that bothers me.
For more context, I was only referring to what I’ve observed on Twitter. I’ve never been to a nudist event, but I wish to someday.
I agree with the other comments. Being a nudist does not mean we are not also sexual beings. Yes, we can be a nudist in a non-sexual way, but we can also enjoy our sexuality while nude. I enjoy both and don’t think the two are in conflict with each other. I’m a sexual person but enjoy living my life nude without it being sexual.
I agree 100% and I think most nudist are, we just separate it that is all. Hell, I would bet there are more swinger couples at nudist resorts than most people ever realize, they just don’t publize it as it isn’t the place to do so.
Agreed. I’ve attended nudist events that have an adult play area that is so discreet I’ve actually
managed to miss them. And that’s kind of how r should be, IMO.
Yeah I agree the goal is nudism and not sex, however, it is going to happen but just not in the open.
I agree. At most nudist events sexuality is sort of a pleasant, relaxing background music you’re only vaguely aware of. At least that’s how it is for me…. It’s nice but not the reason I’m there.