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Find Yourself in a World that Wants you to Just Fit In.

Have you ever really wanted to go out and explore to truly find yourself and who you are; however, you run into a world that doesn’t want that…they just want you to fit in?

For those of you that are doing it, keep on doing it and don’t allow anyone else’s uncomfortableness stop you.

On the other hand, for those of you who want to, don’t allow yourself (and your subconscious thoughts) or others to stand in your way.

Sexuality

I don’t know how many people I have met, or talk to over the years, that are really curious about their sexuality. Many of them consider themselves bi-curious and will stay that way because it is easier that way. Why? You are the minority in the world that is predominantly Christian heterosexual and they look down upon you.

I get it. I hid my bi/pan sexuality through two different marriages, living my life as a purely straight male. It is was a combination of 1) being easier and 2) I didn’t know how they would take it so I just hid in the closet. However, when I started dating Jess 7 years ago I started right off the bat telling her that I was a nudist and I was bi. This allowed me to be who I was and gave her out way early in the game to say it was to much.

I am still not out-out to the world. Not because I am ashamed of it, hell if I was I would write out it on here or my Twitter/X page. It is a personal choice I make as far as who I tell and who I don’t.

So, for those that are struggling with curiosity about your sexuality, I would say go for it. Try it. What is the worst thing that can happen, you don’t like it? What is the best thing, you like it?

Go out there and explore so you can find your true self and you don’t have to live life wandering.  

Nudism

To me, nudism is one of the most self-freeing acts anyone can do in their life. Whether alone, or in a group, shedding your clothes is truly stress reliving. However, much of the world sees nudism (nudity in general) as bad and sexual.

There is nothing sexual about nudism. Sure you are naked, and being naked is very sensual; however, sensual doesn’t mean sexual. This is why groups like AANR, and nudist resorts that adhere to the AANR standards of conduct will quickly remove anyone who is doing an overt sexual act. And, I applaud them for doing that! Nudist/Naturist don’t want to see, or watch sex.

Are there swingers in the nudist community? Yes, there are plenty and I know plenty of them. However, they separate their lives and take the swinging part behind closed doors, or leave it at the front gate. Here is blast from the past blog I wrote “swingers and nudist, nudist and swingers”.

Being a nudist is great for your mental health, body image, and self-esteem. In fact, one study conducted by Keon West at the University of London, found “that more participation in naturist activities predicted greater life satisfaction—a relationship that was mediated by more positive body image, and higher self-esteem (Study 1). Applying these findings, it was found that participation in actual naturist activities led to an increase in life satisfaction, an effect that was also mediated by improvements in body image and self-esteem (Studies 2 and 3)”. Click here to read the study.

Whether you chose to be a home nudist, social nudist, or even part time nudist there is benefits to it. If you are nudist-curious (just made that up by the way), I would ask you to consider trying it. Don’t wait until you “are the perfect size, weight, or in shape” as you truly are missing out on an amazing way of life. Even if you opt to do it at home for 30 minutes a day when no one is around, give it a shot.

Remember, nudism isn’t about impressing anyone…it is about releasing stress in a safe and healthy manner. So if you aren’t “the perfect size, weight, or in shape” give yourself some grace and try it out. What is the worst case, you don’t like it and it isn’t your cup of tea? What is the best case, you like it and want to do it more often? Either way, you don’t know unless you try it with an open mind.

Finding Sobriety

For 20 years I was an alcoholic. That was my life and everything I did revolved around it. EVERYTHING.

However, over 7 ½ years ago I gave sobriety a chance as I needed to gain control of my life from the grips of alcohol. Let me be 100% honest with you, I was scared shitless about what my future looked like without a drink in my hand and alcohol flowing through my blood.

But, I can tell you that even through the battles of maintaining my sobriety and having to face issues head on that I normally numbed with a drink(s) it was the best thing I have done in a long time. Heck, sobriety has made me ask the question “who am I” now that I am not an alcoholic? That forced me to look inside and outside of me to go find myself.. which is a lifelong trip.

You see, when you are a drinker (even just a social one) you don’t realize how many commercials there are, or how prevalent alcohol is. I never did until I stopped. Drinking, in many cultures, is an accepted thing so when you don’t, there are plenty of people that will offer you one, or try to encourage you to go out with them and just have one. If you don’t drink, well you don’t fit in…and that is okay. I know where and who I fit in with and I don’t try to fit in with everyone.

What is the old saying “I am not everyone’s cup of tea”. I mean come on, I am a bisexual, nudist, recovering alcoholic…that is a lot for people to handle. That is why I don’t tell everyone, nor do I look to make friends and hang out with everyone. Simply because I am not changing for them.

Closing

This blog was very personal and vulnerable but is what needed to be said. There are a ton of you reading this that are struggling. I know, many have told me. That is why I decided to open it up and give it to you in hopes it will inspire you to to go on a journey to find yourself.

If there is one good result of 20 years of alcoholism mixed with 8+ years of undiagnosed/untreated major depressive order is this: I quit caring about a lot of things a long time ago. One of those things I quit caring about was how people viewed me, and what their personal thoughts were.

Remember this: you will always judge people, and people with always judge you. We say we are non-judgmental but we are; however, it is what we do with that matters (i.e. show no reaction and allow people to be themselves, or try to get them to change or change the way you treat them).

Knowing that you are going to be judged anyways, you have two choices: try to appease everyone you meet to have everyone always think highly about you, or say fuck it, and live a life that YOU want to live.

Believe me, when I said fuck’em, my life became much more enjoyable. I still have a lot of soul searching to find out what I am…we all do. Don’t give me some bullshit line about “this is just who I am” because it isn’t. Well, that is unless you want to be the same ole you not knowing what else is out there.

So in the end, I would ask you to consider “who am I really?”. With that question in mind, go out and find yourself. Don’t settle and be one that just fits in because it is easier.

There is so much more to you…so go find it, live it, love it, and thrive.

In your corner,

Ryan