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Here is a look into my personal story

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Are You Fighting a Substance Abuse Disorder? You aren’t alone!

My name is Ryan and I live in recovery from a substance abuse disorder, specifically alcohol.

It took me 20 years of heavy drinking daily to say that out loud just about 6 years ago.  

But once I did, I could face it. With out it, I just kept on struggling in silence, holding my secret to myself and playing life as if I had it under control.  Thing is, I did not have it under control. Beer and Crown Royal had me at their will.

It is no ones fight but your own.

It has always been interesting to me when I talk to people about it and they say something stupid like “you don’t have a problem”. This is a classic example of making a judgement about someone else. You only see less than 1% of what a person wants to show you.

If I showed you the 12 pack of high content beer (or more) I drank 7 days a week, would you change your opinion?

What about the two DUI’s I was charged with in a 5-year period?

How about drinking for 10+hours straight on the weekends when I didn’t have my kids, and when I did have them I cut that time in half?

Why do I bring this embarrassing story up to the world?

Simple, I am proud of myself. I am proud to say that I am recovering from a substance abuse disorder, or that I buckled down against my fight with alcoholism.

While I am not proud of ruining two marriages, spending most of my adult life in an alcohol induced haze, missing my kids events, ending up in handcuffs in the back of a police car twice, or drinking me into a more depressed state that fueled seperation between me and the world (another post on that later).

I am proud I did something about. That I overcame an addiction that controlled my life and consumed my thoughts and actions.

This post is for the person out there suffering in silence. The one who knows he/she has a problem but won’t admit out of shame and embarrassment.

IT IS OKAY. YOU ARE OKAY. IT WILL BE OKAY.

I am proud of you, and I believe in you.

Being in the grips of a substance isn’t easy. Matter of fact, it is downright brutal. Especially if it is alcohol, porn, or tobacco because they are every where you go and the ease of access is at your fingertips.

Are you tired of living like this?

Now is a good as time as ever to take a stand and make a change.

Get your life back and live it on your terms.

Will it be easy? Helllllll no. If it was, there would be no such issue in the world. Trust me when I tell you that you will notice ever alcohol commercial, country song that talks about drinking, and every person drinking around you at a restaurant.

Is it worth it? 100% helllllll yes it is.

This June I will celebrate 5 years of being dry, a feat that I thought would be impossible. So much so, it scared the hell out of me thinking what my life would be like without a drink in my hand, or alcohol running through my system.     

Some Tips That Worked For Me

If you are fighting a substance abuse disorder and want to stop, here are some of the ways I have made it to this point without giving in:

• Once I stopped I knew there was no “I can have just one”. It has to be 0
• I got over the fear of dying from withdraw, and living a life without drinking and replaced the thoughts of with anything other than stopping drinking.
• I worked my way down from 10-12 beers a night to 20oz (1 ½) over the span of two months so I didn’t stop cold turkey.
• I switched on June 26, 2016 to non-alcoholic beer and never looked back. Some will say this is dangerous because it can lead to switching back. However, I found for the first 6 months my body didn’t know the difference. Now I can have a 6 pack of N/A beer for months.
• I dropped all my drinking associates/friends. I had to change my environment.
• I found a local bar that had decent NA beer and a day or two a month for the first couple of months I stopped for a couple. I quickly found out, loud and obnoxious people bother me..but it did the trick
• I either avoid going to events that center around alcohol, or I take a 6 pack of NA beer with me.
• When the cravings hit and the voice says “have one you can start the clock again tomorrow”, I kindly tell myself to go f@ck off, I will make it through this. I found drinking cold water can help.

Note: These are just things that worked for me. You must find what will work for you and your situation.

Here is a great article on verywellmind.com titled “Why Quitting an Addiction Can Be So Challenging”, check out the article here.

Terminonlogy is important

So why do I try to refrain from the term “alcoholic” and replace it with “recovering from a substance abuse disorder”?

Alcoholic is a label that can define a person. Much like labeling a person an addict. For example “I am an alcoholic” or “Ryan is an alcoholic”.

Why did I change it to “I am in recovery from a substance abuse disorder” or “Ryan suffered from a substance abuse disorder”? It is called first person narrative. Ultimately, putting the person first over their disease or addiction.

My past doesn’t dictate my future, and I am not who I was 4 years and 10 months ago.

I am not an alcoholic, I am Ryan, a person who once abused a substance and now I don’t. See the difference.

My final thoughts

In closing, I hope that my words have helped the one person who is suffering in silence and needed to see they aren’t alone. There are tons of people around you who are fighting an addiction. In the end, it all comes down to you, and no one else.

Understand you are so much more than any one phrase or label. Lastly, know that each day you can start afresh and you are not your past. You are important!

I believe in all of you, especially those fighting a substance abuse disorder.

Ryan

Your everyday nudist veteran dude who is in recovery from a substance abuse disorder living in Spokane Washington