Tired of explaining yourself?
This blog will be a short one, however, it is something that has been on my mind recently and I thought I would share my thoughts.
Do you find yourself always having to feel like you are justifying yourself, and the things you do to everyone around you? I think some of it has to deal with the way you were raised in having to justify why you are asking for money, or why you should be allowed to go out with your friends and do something you want to do.
And for some reason this carries over to your adult life, especially with the advent of social media which allows for hundreds of people to have access to your life (or at least what you share with them). For some reason, people feel like they have the right, or privilege, to question why you do things. As if they have some final say in your wellbeing and happiness.
This results in always putting us on the defensive, having to clarify or defend why we do what we do. In some cases, many are silently asking for public acceptance to make sure they are the right track, or that it is okay for them to enjoy their lives. Take a look at this previous blog “Finding Yourself in a World that Wants you to Just Fit in“
But why?
Look, if someone questions why you are doing what you are doing the simple answer should be “because I want to”, “it brings me joy and happiness”, “it is my life and I chose to do that”.
You don’t need anyone’s approval to do things that you want to do. There will be lots of people that will question it, or feel as if they have the need to tell you what you should do. Thanks to social media, it has provided this sense of entitlement to judge you or question your actions as if their voice, and opinions, should dictate your actions…or that you should clear it with them so they approve of it.
Stop.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Sure you want to defend, or let them know why you do what you do, but you don’t have to.
When I tell people I am a nudist, I would find myself feeling like I had to justify why I like being naked. Not that I needed their approval, I certainly don’t, but this internal urge to get them to see my point. To see the value it brings in my life. This often resulted in my feeling like I was on the defensive.
Now, when someone says “it isn’t for me”, or “I couldn’t ever do it”, I simply allow them to think that way. I don’t need to change anyone’s mind about nudism, it doesn’t affect me one way or another. However, if someone is interested, or curious about it, I will have a conversation about how much I enjoy it, and how every nudist I know loves it (hence why the are nudist).
So I would ask you to consider why you feel the need to justify your actions when people question why you do something. I would recommend giving them a short answer I listed above and go on being YOU. To see another perspective on how to stop justifying yourself, check out this blog from the Tiny Buddah.
Don’t waste the valuable time we have on this earth answering “why do you do that” questions to people that don’t matter in the big picture of things. Sure they may be a friend, but that doesn’t qualify them to receive a detailed explaining of your actions.
Final Thoughts
I will leave you with a friendly reminder from Dr. Suess, “be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Keep smiling that amazing smile, and be the truly beautiful soul you are.
So go be free my friends, and when I say be free, I mean get naked and be really freaking free.
Ryan