Comparison
Comparison is a natural action we all do whether we consciously think about it or not.
We compare our lives to others, or at least the parts that we can see. How much money they have (or at least perceived). How many trips they take. What they look like naked. How happy a couple looks with all their pictures of them smiling and having a great time.
But what we don’t see is the 99% of their lives which is a struggle, and they don’t show you because they want you to think they have everything all together. Ultimately, trying to silently compete with everyone one else they are watching.
Many struggle to keep up with a façade to make everyone around them think that they are happy, financially free, and spend hours in the gym to look “good” (over the simple fact of being healthy).
But why?
Because they don’t want you to judge them in their “real” life, they would rather you envy them and think they are on top of the world.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Teddy Roosevelt once said, “comparison is the thief of joy” and he couldn’t be more correct.
When we spend our lives comparing ourselves to others, we will never truly be happy.
Sure, we can go into great debt to have a really nice car and take a ton of trips, house, and clothes but for what? To try to impress people to get a like on social media from people that really don’t think about you much? Ultimately, this results in more stress that you are strapped for cash, living payday to payday to impress people that don’t matter.
Imposture Syndrome
One of the biggest concerns you face with always comparing your self to everyone else is developing “Imposture Syndrome”. Imposture Syndrome is a psychological experience characterized by persistent self-doubt and the inability to believe that one’s success is deserved, often despite evidence of competence and achievements.
According to Verywellmind.com, “the irony is, that people with imposter syndrome are often highly accomplished, impressive individuals.” However, when you consistently doubt yourself, and your abilities, and you accompany this with negative self-talk, it will always leave you feeling empty inside.
Whenever I walk into a meeting, or group, I know I am not the smartest person in the room. However, I know I am by far the most confident person in the room. That is because I own my vulnerabilities and know I don’t know everything and I am just fine with that. I have my own strengths I bring to the table. Also, I have a ton of weaknesses, and I don’t hide them, I own them as well.
I don’t need everyone to think that I am everything. Then, I would have to hide my weaknesses and be someone I am not. Trust me, it is so much better to live that way, then have to try to live up to something you are not.
Nudism and Comparison
So many people I know haven’t tried nudism because they think that all nudists are super models and they aren’t personally in good shape, or need to lose 20 lbs. to look good. Now I know this is much easier on paper than in real life. Especially for women.
Women are the most scrutinized people on the planet when it comes to looks. I mean look around, everywhere you look it is skinny women in add models. On almost every women’s magazine there is an article how to lose weight fast. Even as young teens, they are told to lose weight or watch what they eat so they don’t gain weight…or they get bullied by kids at school because of how they look. Ladies, take a minute to read Jess’s blog “My Nudist Journey as a Woman”!
It is a f*cked up society they live in.
Comparison in Men
But on the other hand, men face the same type of scrutiny. How many dad bod models do you see shirtless or modeling underwear? Every men’s magazine always has a “get ripped in 90 days” article. In high school, they were made fun of if they were scrawny and weren’t in great shape like the football players.
All this information that surrounds us leads us to always compare ourselves to society. And this is with clothes on!
Imagine if you struggle with this comparison of body image with clothes on, how mentally challenging it is to get naked in front of others.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, at a root level struggles with body image issues. I am no different. There is always something “wrong” with our bodies in our own personal views.
I mean when I was at 190 lbs and 5% body fat and working out a ton and eating a strict diet, I wasn’t bulky enough. Now, on the other hand, I am 225 with a big gut and don’t work out at all so it is the polar opposite of where I was.
Stealing of Joy
This comparison will steal your joy. Why? 99% of people will never, and I mean NEVER, reach true satisfaction of yourself. Example, lets say you want to lose 20 lbs for whatever reason. Once you hit that 20 lbs, you will look around and then say, well I need to lose another 15 lbs, I want to look like so and so. O, that person said my jeans look to tight around my ass, I need to drop another 10 lbs. they must be correct.
It is this thief that will steal the joy of nudism right out from underneath you. Then one day if you decide to try it, and you realize to yourself that it isn’t anything like the story you built in your head and you missed out on years of the true joy of nudism.
And, even worse, for the majority of people nudism drastically increases your self-esteem, self-confidence, and body image! To think you missed out on all those years of feeling better about yourself.
How Most Nudist Are in Real Life
I have spent 25 years as a nudist and I can say with confidence, over 80% of the people I hang out with at resorts and gatherings are not in great shape. Many are in shape, but you would never see them on the cover a magazine. And that is perfectly okay!!!
However, one thing we all have in common is we all love to laugh and be naked together. We love to be around, and look at the naked body and in its purest and most vulnerable form. There is nothing sexual about looking at another naked person. We all do it, whether we will admit it or not. It is human nature, however, the difference between nudist and non-nudist is that we don’t stare, gawk, or make unwanted comments about a persons body.
The nudist community will welcome you just as you are, whether you are 30 lbs overweight or 30 lbs underweight. Nudist, in their natural environment, are some of the nicest folks you will meet.
Most will welcome you with a legit smile, and even when you are scared to death to take you clothes off (and everyone experiences this the first several times) and be in your most vulnerable state, will comfort you in a way that make you forget all about being naked. It is truly something special.
Final Thoughts
So if you are struggling with body image issues just know you are in the company of 100% of the people you know. However, the only difference in the nudist community is that they have accepted who they are and just love to live without clothes on. And, if you have a problem with the way they look…well, that is your problem to deal with, not theirs.
I truly hope this article inspires some of you to take the leap and give nudism a shot, even if you just want to start at home, alone and enjoy the feeling of true freedom. But most importantly, I really hope this article makes you take a moment to think about your life and how you can start to live it on your terms, and not in the comparison loop you have been in for your entire life.
In your corner rooting you on,
Ryan